Celestia's New World
by Omega Dragonslayer
Summary: Princess Celestia finds herself in a strange new world, with a strange new body. With no knowladge of this land, and no way to return home, she finds herself relying on a kind-hearted person to show her what it means to be a human.
1. The Princess

"What... what happened?" asked a peculiar woman, sitting on the ground. She was dazed and confused. Her vision was a little blurry, but quickly returned to normal after blinking a few times.

She looked around, unfamiliar this part of Equestria. Her tailbone was different. She no longer had a tail. Or a horn. Or wings. Her whole body was different.

She also saw that she was wearing clothing unlike any she had seen before. Blue pants, a shirt. It was almost simple enough to be starting after years of nothing less than ornate or extravagant clothing.

She looked to her hooves... hands.

"What? What is this? Where am I? Is this... the human world? Am I a human? That's impossible... Isn't it?"

She got on her knees, but quickly realized that it wasn't correct. She looked to her feet, and decided to try on two limbs instead of four. Bracing herself against a metal pole, she stood herself up, but found it difficult to keep her balance.

"Oh, no... how am I to get home? I need to return. It isn't right for me to be here."

She couldn't remember how she had gotten here, nor had any idea on how to get back.

There was a special mirror that had once been located in Canterlot, but had been moved north to the Crystal Empire. Its magic powers were very mysterious, but she learned much about the other side, this world, from her student.

She took note that the metal pole was a lightpost, finally realizing that it was dark out. Late at night... or perhaps early in the morning. It was warm. Likely during the end of the summer, as it had been in Equestria.

"This isn't good at all. I hope my sister can handle herself well without me."

She kept a grip on the pole as she looked around for something, anything that could help.

She was in a strange place, indeed. Many lightpoles littered the area, and there were a few large metal... things on wheels around her. The ground was hard, like stone, but discernible from true stone. There were lines painted on it, and the metal things were in between them.

A fear started settling itself in her mind, unlike any she had ever felt before. She wasn't as scared of the world itself as much as what may happen to her, as well as for the wellbeing of her home

She was lost in a strange land, and didn't know how to get home.

Another of these metal things moved in her direction. Two lights came off the front, and she could see a human inside it. She put together that these things were machines, and were far beyond pony technology. A few others were moving around as well.

The human in the machine stopped fairly close to her, and got out. He stared at her for a few seconds as he passed, then shrugged and rushed into a large, lit up building.

"Even at this time, humans are still awake." she muttered to herself. She read the name of the building. "Wal-mart... supercenter. A store? It's enormous."

A plan started to form in her head. It wasn't exactly a plan though, as it only had one step: Find this world's crystal mirror before it closed again.

She eyed the machines again. Most of them had to be incredibly heavy, and they were moving around all over the place. If she moved in front of one, it may cause injury, or even prove fatal.

Thoughts like these seemed both grim and pathetic at the same time.

Even with all this fear, she was still very curious about this world. Twilight had described many things, but few included this.

Before she knew it, she heard someone say, "Ma'am? Are you alright?"

She looked to the source. The same man she saw earlier had returned. He had his arm through a plastic bag with something she couldn't make out inside.

That man was me.

"M-me?"

"Yeah. Are you ok?"

"I... No. Can you help me?"

"Um... Maybe. What's wrong?"

"I don't... I don't know where I am right now."

"Oh, that's not good. I'm Phil, what's your name?

"I am Pr... My name is Celestia."

"Celestia?" I looked to her hair. Many different colors in a beautiful pattern that reached down to the middle of her back. The colors were perfectly separated from each other. Man, talk about spot the main character... "Are you a cosplayer?"

"A what?"

"It's just that you really remind me of Princess Celestia."

"I... I am Princess Celestia."

"You really sound like her, too."

"That's because I am her. I'm Princess Celestia."

"What do you mean?"

"I am the Princess of the Sun. You seem to already know of me.

"Well... It's just that the Princess is kinda... not human."

"Yes, I don't understand it either. Please, I need help. I need to get back home."

"If you're really Princess Celestia, then prove it."

She gave me an uneasy expression, not knowing how to do this. "I... I can't. You have to believe me! I need to get back to Equestria!"

"Um... what?" I realized that I didn't have time for this. This wasn't my problem. If she wanted to be insane, she could. "Sorry, I have to go."

I started walking away, thinking that if I didn't get to sleep soon, I'd miss my alarm. She grabbed onto my wrist, and let out a yelp as she fell to her knees. It had hurt her a little. She looked up at me. "Please... I need to get back. The doorway may be lost soon, and I don't know where it could be."

I stared at her as she began to cry. My stomach felt funny. This was not something I liked seeing.

I got on my knees and wrapped my arms around her. "Hey, it's alright. Stop crying." Now I made it my problem.

She raised her arms and lightly placed them on my back, then briefly gripped onto my shirt. "You... don't believe me."

"I'm sorry." 'Should I take her to the police station? She wouldn't cone with me. Do I trust this woman? She's too into this... Celestia cosplay to be a criminal. It's way too complicated, and if she wanted to take my kidneys, there wouldn't even be a need for it. Is she insane? She's still not going to come with me. She's reacting well to the hug, though. Any excuse to hug someone.'

"W-who are you?" she asked me.

"I'm Phil. Just Phil. I work at a boring job and live a boring life. And you? You said Princess Celestia. Should I call you that?"

She pulled away. "What's the point? You don't believe it. You think I'm crazy."

I stood up and pulled her to her feet, then looked at her again. She had a very beautiful body, and was fairly tall. I made a guess at about 6 feet even, but was probably off. Wasn't good at estimations, but it was considering that I could see over the top of her head, and that I was 6'4. 6'4 at 24.

She wiped the tears from her eyes. A partial sun mark was on her shoulder, under her sleeve. Cutie mark...

"You said something about Equestria."

"I did."

"That's why I'm a little cautious right now. I know what Equestria is, but when you say that you're from there, it's pretty confusing. I'm sure you're untrusting of me, as well. I'd like to help you, I really would. I just don't know how."

"This is just awful. If you can't help me, then what am I to do? Where am I to go? Can you tell me that?"

"I don't know. If you really are Princess Celestia, then there is nobody in the world that can help you. But... If you're not..."

"I am!"

"If... If you're not, there are many people who could help. What do you want?"

"I just want to go home. I don't belong here. If I find the crystal mirror, then I can go."

'Oh my gooodd! I can't decide! She fits Celestia so well right now! Is she crazy? Is she real? How the fuck would she get here? My Little Pony's a tv show! This can't be happening right now. Am I hallucinating? Did I finally go off the deep end?'

"Crystal mirror? There... there is no crystal mirror."

"What?"

"In this world. It doesn't exist here."

"How do you know?"

"The crystal mirror doesn't connect to this world."

"What? Isn't this the human world? Aren't you a human? How much, exactly, do you know about Equestria? Tell me!"

"I know everything. Princess Celestia, alongside her sister Princess Luna rule over the peaceful land. Twilight Sparkle is the student of the Princess, and was sent to Ponyville, where she made lots of new friends." I named them, and recounted the major events that happened up until the movie. Of course, I included it as well.

I haven't watched anything after that, so no spoiliops.

First bewilderment, then horror. "What? How? How is this possible?!"

"Hey... hey... calm down. I'll tell you. Equestria is in a completely different universe than humans, but we can see into your world almost at will. It's as if your world is entertainment for us humans."

She looked at me like I was the crazy one. Well, I kinda was, but that's a different story.

"I'm sure you'll be somewhat comforted to know that we can't see everything that goes on in Equestria. It's for children. The mirror that you were talking about... Is that how you got here?"

"I don't know anymore. I thought it was, but now I'm not sure."

"I don't think it is. I don't believe that was truly the human world, either."

"What do you mean?"

"Our world is much different from what I saw. Equestria is in an alternate reality, with its own human world. There may be an Equestrian counterpart to this world, as well. It would likely be darker than your Equestria. This... this conversation is getting us nowhere."

She gave me a blank, somewhat scared gaze. "Say... say I wasn't from Equestria. Say that I really was insane. What would you tell me to do?"

"Well... If that were the case, then you should go to the police station. Law enforcement. Unfortunately, if you told them that you aren't human, they'd likely take you to a mental physician or something."

"I would like to talk to law enforcement, but if I'm diagnosed with a mental condition, I may very well lose all hope of getting back home."

"Yeah, that's what I mean."

"I've never been called crazy like that before. And what about you? What would you like me to do?"

"I don't know. I've never had to deal with this kind of thing before. On one hand, I'd like to believe you, but on the other, who knows who you could be?"

"I could say the same about you."

"Fair enough."

"Still, you know so much about Equestria, and even about me. Can you give me an option?"

This was too strange not to be real. Or, in a cosmic sort of way, fake. She was incredibly sharp for a lunatic. Maybe she had psychosis, or was a psychopath. Is there a difference? Probably.

"Celestia... My option would be for you to come with me. I know that it's a bit much to ask, but do you want to come with me... to my house? It's fairly close, and I think the weatherperson said it was gonna rain."

She looked to the sky. "That prediction is correct."

"I won't leave you here alone. If you stay, then I'll stay. This is getting really interesting."

She looked to the store. It said 24 hours, so she could go inside to avoid the rain. However, even I knew that there were so many problems with that.

"I accept your offer."

"What? Wait, really?"

She nodded. "I could be a villain, and so could you. This has been drawn out long enough. I would like a place to sleep soundly tonight, and if you're offering, then I'll accept. Soundly may not be the right word though, considering our situation."

I let out a small smile. "That's... it's a start, I guess." If she wasn't the real deal, then this would make me look incredibly stupid, but I gave her a small bow nonetheless. I pointed to my car. "Go ahead and get inside."

She stared at it, very hesitant. "Is it safe?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty good at driving, and I know this place."

She nodded. "Can you help me to it? I don't know how to walk on two legs yet."

"Of course."

She held on to my shoulder as I walked her to the passenger side. Her knees still stung from the fall.

I got in the driver side after she closed the door, and turned it on. "Buckle up, please."

She pulled the seatbelt over herself, copying what I did.

'Either I just made a new friend, or my kidneys are gonna get stolen. I like my kidneys.'

She stared at the dashboard as it lit up, amazed by the perceived complexity of it. She had absolutely no idea what was happening, and for some reason, she seemed to enjoy it.

I moved the gearstick around. The car lurched forward, and I grumbled, turning the key again. Killed it. Must be a little excited from having a guest. Just a little.

"Stupid... manual..."

The second time, everything went smoothly.

She looked out the windshield, and sunk back into her seat, holding it tightly.

"Don't worry, I've been at this for a while. It's alright."

She let out a quiet noise to signify that she understood, but was still scared.

I left the parking lot. There were very few cars compared to Wal-mart, but there were so many other lights and buildings. She was a little overwhelmed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I used to always think that I was superb as determining a pony's character, but ever since the incident at the royal wedding, I found herself doubting my own abilities. You seem nice, but I still can't tell."

"Thanks."

We didn't go especially far from where we started, but it was an entirely different neighborhood. It was darker here, with just a few lights on in the street.

I pulled into a driveway, and turned it off, then pointed to my house and said, "That's it."

She did as I did, unbuckling and opening the door. She stood up, and her legs wobbled a little, but she managed to stay up.

I walked over to her, offering to help. She accepted the invitation, and grabbed my shoulder again.

We went inside. It was a little messy, but that didn't really matter. I'll clean it later.

She sat on the couch that I had pulled from the trash. I'm an absolute cheapskate when it comes to this stuff, but it's not like I was an idiot. It had some internal damage, but was totally clean.

My computer is literally the only thing in my life that I spent any money on. Worth it.

She watched me intently, getting ready to run at the first sign of danger.

"Why were you out at this hour?"

"They had a sale on this good pair of headphones. My buddy told me about it pretty late, and I only had like two minutes to get it before it was today, 'cause the sale ended when the clock hit midnight."

She nodded, but it seemed like she expected me to say something else.

"Look..." I paused for a few minutes. "I... I'm convinced. Ok? You've convinced me."

"I have?"

"I believe that you're Princess Celestia. People like you don't just show up for no reason. I don't think you're crazy."

"But you did."

"Wouldn't you think the same if I were in that situation?"

"I suppose."

"Unfortunately, I also believe that you're trapped here. The crystal mirror is a magical item from your world, and there is no Canterlot High in this world. The statue that your student came from doesn't exist. Unless somepony like your sister can find you, I don't think there's any way home."

"This... is difficult to accept."

"I'm sorry, Princess. I wish there was more I could do for you. Go ahead and stay here for the night, at least. It's better than nothing, I suppose. There's a few blankets in that corner over there. You should be fine here."

She gave me a slow nod, and looked down in sadness.

I gave her another hug to calm her down. Seeing her sad like this made my heart feel heavy. I pulled away. "Sorry. You just really seemed like you needed that. Goodnight, Your Majesty."

"Good... goodnight. Thank you."

I nodded, then went to my room. After a brief call to my boss's answering machine to say I wasn't showing up, I went to sleep.

***This is the second revision of chapter 1, and unfortunately, chapter 2 isn't finished yet, so some things may not add up.**


	2. Two crazy people

That freaking alarm! God, how I hated it. Why must I forget to turn it off on this... the day of... well, the day of Friday, I guess.

My phone had a message on it. Boss said it was fine. Nobody likes going out to eat on a rainy day. I know I don't.

'So I didn't die. That's a plus.'

I walked out to the living room with a yawn. Oh yeah, I brought home the drug lord of the Russian mafia. She was still sleeping on the couch, with a thin blanket over her.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

I didn't feel the need to wake her. She'll wake up when she was ready.

I quickly showered and put on some fresh clothes. After that, I watched her sleep for a while. The soft pitter-patter of rain and her quiet breathing were all I could hear. Waiting... waiting... waiting...

It dawned on me that this is pretty creepy, so I got my laptop and sat on a chair, just passing the time with nothing of particular interest.

She started to stir about an hour later. She rubbed her eyes, and stared at her hands, still questioning whether or not this were real.

"Good morning, Princess."

"So it is." She sat up, her lap still covered with the blanket. Her hair had lost some of yesterday's brilliance as it was pretty messy. She gave off a yawn, and looked at me with sleepy eyes. "I'm still alive." she said as if she had really expected me to do her in.

'That's an astute observation.' "Yeah."

"Can we talk?"

"Of course." I set my laptop down, and looked at her. This time, I was waiting for her to start.

"Is there no way for me to go back to Equestria?"

"I don't think so. None from this end."

"Then what am I to do?"

"I don't know. There's not much that you can do, Princess. If you like, we could search the town for that mirror. The odds of finding it are slim at best, though. I've lived here all my life and still haven't seen it all, and with just a few more days to find it..." I stopped and let her draw her own conclusion.

"Am I just to remain with you?"

"If you want, but if you want to leave, I'm not going to stop you."

"That's not what I meant. I'm grateful for this. Yesterday... you said that you believed me."

"I did. And now I believe it even more."

"So you still thought I was lying when you invited me here?"

"I gave you a suggestion, and you made your own decision."

"Is something wrong?"

"Yeah, you scare me."

"I scare you? How could I scare you? You're quite a lot bigger than I am."

"Because you're not from this world. And honestly, I'm sure you could beat me in any fight. You can't not know how to fight considering who you are."

"I don't understand."

"It all fits together so perfectly. Your voice, your speech patterns, your hair, your eyes, your mannerisms, your emotions... It's too perfect. That's what scares me. This had to have been planned by something, or someone. In your case, somepony."

"What are you saying? Do you think that I'm not scared, as well? I need to return home, but I can't do anything. I feel so helpless."

"Yeah... yeah... sorry."

"I..." She slowly spread her arms apart. "I think I would like another hug."

I gave her a light smile, and gently wrapped my arms around her. She closed her arms around my back, and held on tighter than I thought she would. It didn't hurt, but she clung to me like a frightened child.

I realized that she really was scared. Scared for her family, her friends... and herself.

I stroked her hair. She seemed so fragile right now. In my mind, I knew that I wasn't the right guy for this, but what else could I do? If she wanted to leave, she had plenty of opportunities.

I loosened my grip. A few seconds later, she let go of me.

"Cheer up, I have ice cream. Wait here."

I went to the freezer and pulled out a half eaten tub of cookie dough ice cream. I bent a spoon trying to scoop it out, and showed it to her. She giggled. I like that sound.

I waited a little for it to thaw, but not long enough. It was still hard to get through.

Eventually, I had filled two bowls. I gave her one, sitting next to her.

I noticed small bloodstains on her pants. Oh yeah, she fell. "Do you want to put a bandage on those?"

She pulled up her pant legs. There was a bit of dried blood, but it was obvious that the injuries were small. "It's just a scape."

"M'kay."

I opened my laptop again, and she stared at the screen.

"This is a laptop, a portable computer."

"Computer?"

"Let me see... How can I explain it... It's a personal data storing and accessing device. That's not a very good explanation..." I opened up the history of computers on Wikipedia, and gave it to her. "Careful, it's kind of expensive."

She silently read what the screen said, then looked at the keyboard. She tapped the down arrow, and more text showed up. She was learning how to use it rather well.

"This is a lot to take in. You humans are amazing."

"Yes. Yes we are."

She read the whole page. "Wow... That... Wow."

She gave the screen a long blank stare, probably thinking about what she learned.

"There's a lot more information than that on just about everything. Hold up."

I took it back, deleted the history, cache, website data, re-deleted them to make sure, then gave it back.

She understood how to use it even better than my parents did. Of course, she didn't know the capabilities of it.

I grabbed our now empty bowls and rinsed them out in the sink.

'What is the ruler of Equestria doing on earth? Why is she even here? She doesn't really seem to mind being here, but earlier she was all sad. Did I die or something? Was I murdered while I was sleeping? I hope they didn't touch my computer.' The one downstairs, not the laptop.

I looked to her. Normal. Almost normal. In terms of looks, not normal at all. She was too perfect to be normal. Hehe... Boobies...

She seemed content, but I was sure doubt was still circling around in the back of her mind.

On the other hand, I had completely believed her. It was a bit much to delve this far into a fandom just to rob someone, and she was pretty coherent when I found her, if a bit shaken up. Even if she was insane, I guess it would be fine with me. Something in my head told me that she was the real deal, and I'm not usually a gullible person.

"You're staring at me."

"Sorry."

I looked away. I was clueless, but if someone else was happy, then I would be happy.

I sat next to her again. She was learning more about my computer on her own, and made a lot of progress.

"Why am I here?" she finally asked, "I don't mean this world, but here, in your house? I don't mean any offense by this, but you don't seem to be all that special. Why were you the one to find me?"

"I dunno. I don't think there is a real reason. Any attribute that I may have had that attracted you to that specific spot for me to find you would easily be found in another human, some even better than I am. I'm no saint. There can't be a reason for it. Not a real one, at least."

"I'm beginning to think the same thing."

"And this city, as well. Why here? And why now? What was the last thing you remember?"

"It was just another normal day. I had bid my sister goodnight, and I had fallen asleep. There was nothing out of the ordinary."

"What about Twilight? What did she do last?"

"I don't know. I'm sure that she would've told me had something happened, though."

I shrugged. "Nothing really to explain any of this then, is there?"

"Maybe."

I gave a brief thought about some possible reasons, but none of them made any real sense. Didn't really expect them to. Honestly, I didn't care. "Well... Get comfy, then. You might be here a while."

"Will I live here with you until it's time for me to leave?"

"It's all up to you, really. If not... I don't actually know. Never really had that problem."

"I'm finding it comforting to be here, but... Isn't it strange to you?"

"Well, duh. This whole thing is strange."

"That isn't exactly what I meant. I was talking about a stal... a man and a woman living in the same house? Isn't that indecent?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Probably. Is is bad in Equestria?"

"Not... exactly."

"Does it make you feel uneasy?"

She shook her head. "I was just wondering about this world."

"Then it's fine." I briefly glanced at her, and let out a sigh. 'There is nothing I can do, is there, Phil? No, probably not.'

And so I waited. I didn't know what exactly I was waiting for, but I still waited.

She gave the laptop back to me and stood up. "Do you have anything for me to eat?"

"Yeah, the cupboard by the fridge has a bunch of food in it. Just pick something."

She paused. "Humans eat meat, right?

"Yeah. Is that a problem?"

"Ponies don't eat meat. We're too close to our animals."

"Animals can't talk here like they can in Equestria. It's just humans.

"But killing them for food?" There was a distinct lack of emotion in her voice. She wanted answers, and nothing else.

"We're omnivorous. It's always been that way."

"From what I've seen, if a pony eats meat, they'll throw it up. It's not very good for us... them... ponies. Myself included."

"Have you tried it?"

My question made her uneasy. "Once. It wasn't a pleasant experience, to say the least."

"Did you throw up?"

She didn't answer.

"And now?"

She was definitely considering it, but ended up saying, "I don't want to eat meat."

"Alright. No prob. I can get a little stock of vegetarian stuff later. I heard veggie burgers are pretty good. For now, I guess you can eat whatever you find. I got plenty of stuff that you'll like."

"Thank you."

I looked up a normal vegetarian diet. This was blasphemy... Heresy, even. 'Alright, seems easy enough. Ponies eat flowers and grass and horse... stuff. But now she's human. Shouldn't be too hard. Just no meat.' I wrote a list of stuff in my phone.

She opened the fridge. It was pretty boring in there. I had an old pizza in there, though. Speaking of, old pizza sounds good. I joined her.

"This is almost depressing." she said to me as I grabbed a piece from the box.

"Really?"

"To me, at least. The royal kitchen is filled to the brim with the best of the best, but here, I wouldn't be surprised to see mold."

"Hey, I take care of my food!" I took a bite of my cold pizza. "I don't let it get moldy."

"Your pizza is moldy." I looked at it with my jaw hanging, and she let out a small laugh. "Gotcha."

I pointed to the drawers at the bottom of it. "That one has meat, that one has the veggies. I don't think I have any fruit right now." I got myself a glass of apple juice while she reached into the pizza box.

Man, I used to drink like a half gallon of apple juice a day. It was some good stuff, man.

She inspected it, then took a bite. "Better than I thought it would be."

"It's better fresh."

"One would think." She closed the door.

So we both stood there, eating cold pizza. She didn't seem to mind. Neither did I. She started to go through the cupboards, learning where stuff was if she needed it.

"Pitiful."

"Hey."

"Sorry, but it is."

"Yeah well, you don't have to say it."

"Do you like it like this?"

"It does the job." I rinsed out my empty cup and put it on the counter. It was good for a few more drinks. Why clean? Speaking of, I need to wash the dishes.

"We should head to the store soon. It'd be nice if you had some things to snack on while you're here. Also, I need some more... stuff, so I guess I'm going regardless."

She stared at me as she took another bite.

"You seem to be adjusting rather well to this."

"I've done with little before. I can live without luxury."

"Really? I thought you always had power."

"Not always. Until my sister and I discovered the Elements of Harmony, we weren't seen as royalty. After Discord had been defeated, we couldn't just leave Equestria without a leader."

I nodded. "Will your sister be fine without you? And Twilight as well, now that I think about it. Her coronation keeps slipping my mind."

"I'd like to imagine that they would do fine. Luna hasn't done without me in a long while. Twilight shouldn't have a problem with it, either."

"You're not sure, are you?"

She shook her head.

I smiled at her. "Then take solace in remembering that they aren't alone. They have so many friends all across Equestria. It's going to be harder to make things worse than to make it better. And even if something goes wrong, you still have Discord on your side."

"I suppose."

"What was with that, anyways? Why did you need him?"

"That's... something I'd rather not discuss with you."

"Alright, then. Still hungry?"

"Somewhat."

I nodded. She got another piece of pizza.

As she ate, she wandered. Randomly, she walked through my house. I kept a close-ish watch on her.

She explored the house that she had slept in, habitually attempting to use magic to grab things and open doors, only to fail.

Nothing really caught her attention until she got to my room. She stared at my door.

I nodded at her, and she opened it. A bed, a little shelf next to it, and a dresser. Notably boring. I walked in after her, and saw a brief look of disappointment on her face. She opened the dresser drawers.

"Do you really need to look at my clothes? What are you doing?"

"Sorry, I was curious."

She looked at the closet door, then to me. "Don't go in there. It's a huge mess. Something could fall on you if you open it. It's on my list to organize it." I just threw things inside when I didn't want to see them anymore.

She shrugged, and kept looking around.

She looked at another door, but didn't seem too interested in it.

"I think now's a good time to get some food. Do you want to come with?"

"I suppose that I will."

"Alright, cool."

I got my stuff and we headed outside. I locked the door behind us. My neighborhood was ok, but I didn't know everyone. I didn't want to, either. It was boring here. Nothing ever happened.

I paused before I got in. 'I forgot my new headphones in here. Silly Phil. Whatever, it's fine.' I hid them under the seat.

Celestia didn't like my car. She was hesitant to even touch it. Man, I should be recording this.

"Are you... absolutely sure that this is safe?"

"I drove fine last night, didn't I?"

"I don't know... yes?"

"You can stay here if you want."

"No, I'm fine." She got in, same as yesterday.

I started it. The engine noises fascinated her. 'Maybe I should show her the insides sometime.'

And back to Wal-mart we went. It was a lot busier during the day. She looked all around, almost like a kid, silently taking all the details around her.

I parked my car, and quickly moved the headphones under my seat. "I don't think grass and flowers are good for humans. Maybe, but it can't be very healthy. I wrote down some stuff we can get."

She looked at the building. Many, many people of all shapes and sizes were walking in and out of it. "Alright."

She looked up in awe as we walked in. I grabbed a cart. first stop, apple juice.

She clung to me while we walked through the store, as if she were scared. I knew that she was perfectly fine when she walked, and there'd be no reason for her to avoid others. Maybe seeing so many people like this was a shock to her. Possibly.

I collected various things from various isles. It wasn't any different from normal shopping, except that I felt like a traitor. I must sacrifice something to sooth the bacon gods when I get home.

The more food I got, the more I realized something else. She might actually be here for a while. If she stays in my house for a long time, she's probably like a change of clothes, as well.

I asked her about it, and her reply surprised me. "This may sound like a strange question, but couldn't I wear your clothes?" she asked.

"You're a Princess. You shouldn't have to even touch my stuff."

"It doesn't actually bother me. Like I said, I've done well with little, before."

"Well, I guess, but you're still going to need underwear.

"You have underwear."

"Not everything."

She thought about it, then said, "Now that you mention it, there weren't any of these in your dresser." She lightly pulled on her bra strap.

'Oh, boy...' I lowered my voice a little. "Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It's called a bra. I'm actually not entirely sure they're required, but..." The longer I held this conversation, the more difficult it got to even talk. I didn't even need to say these things. "Your... breasts are pretty big, even for a human. A bra is for support. I... think. I don't wear them. I wouldn't know."

"Breasts?" She poked her chest. "These?"

"Don't do that in public like this. It's not really... appropriate."

She seemed to get the gist of what I was saying. "Oh. Well, they do seem pretty heavy."

"Besides, I'm sure you'd like a robe, as well."

"That does sound nice. Thank you."

"Of course, Princess."

"Just... just Celestia is fine."

"Also, I don't know how much your stuff's gonna cost, so try to keep it cheap."

"What exactly is cheap for clothing here?"

"I don't know. Maybe... $150? I don't know how much stuff costs."

After years of watching my dad buy so many things that he would never need, I realized that saving money is a fairly easy way to get a lot of it. I don't even have a tv. Or any game consoles, for that matter. After I realized that gaming consoles were just turning into tweaked PCs, I gave up on buying them. My brother's got our old ps3 and stuff like that. I'm smart, but bored.

Totally worth it, though. If I for whatever reason needed to spend some money, I could. I liked that feeling. I liked it almost as much as the feeling of her holding my arm like this. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Yay!

She picked out one shirt because she liked the design, and a few cheap pairs of pants, along with a skirt after seeing that one of the mannequins was wearing one.

She was just like a kid.

I asked someone to help us pick her out some delicates. And by someone, I meant the female worker by the changing station, and by us, I meant Celestia.

She took off for a few minutes with her new friend, and came back with... some pieces of clothing in her arms, and put them in the cart. She also had a bath robe with her, like I suggested.

I didn't touch them, I didn't check the prices, I didn't even look at them. I wanted to though. Quite a lot. Even more so if they were already on her. Just didn't feel like it would be right to me. She didn't care.

"You're so embarrassed." she said, almost laughing at me.

"Yeah, that'll happen."

"I believe that's all. Shall we go?"

"Yep."

"This is fun. We should come here often."

"Why are you acting like this?" I asked her, suddenly taking a more serious position.

"I've decided that if I'm going to remain here, then I'll enjoy myself. Is there something wrong with it?"

"No, it just seems weird to me. I like your attitude though. Lets go pay for these."

When I got to the counter, the guy flicked his eyes from the cart to her, then to me.

"Dude... nice."

I paid with what I had in my wallet. Made it under budget by a good amount. Probably stupid carrying around this much, but whatever. Better to use it now then to get it swiped.

I put the stuff in the trunk, and we went back to my house. I remembered my headphones this time, so that's a plus.

I actually had a pair of headphones already. They were made out of metal with a kevlar reinforced cable. Heard a guy ran a pair over with his car and it still worked fine. They lasted me a few years already, and were still going strong. The new pair that I got yesterday I've heard were pretty good, so I wanted to test it out while it was still on sale.

Celestia looked over her new clothing while I put the food away. She can feed herself, she's a big girl.

'Man, I've compared her to a kid a lot. Man, I say man a lot.' I walked back out.

"Where should I store these?" she asked me.

"Guess I could clear out a drawer in my dresser for you." I said. I was already acting as if this were normal. That was quick.

I went to my room and dumped the top drawer into a lower drawer. 'There we go. Problem solved.'

She began placing her things inside. "This is surprisingly fun." she said to me.

"Really?"

"I'm beginning to enjoy myself. I think I'm starting to warm up to you."

"It's an honor to hear that, Princess."

"Please, Celestia is fine. Now that I have new clothing, may I bathe here?"

"Uh... yeah sure. Just lock the door if you do. I'd prefer to avoid any awkward moments."

"Alright. And... thank you."

"Just doing what I can."

She grabbed some clothes, and her new robe, and walked to the bathroom. The water started running.

I sat on the couch. I think the reality was starting to set in.

'Well, I think I snapped. I have gone loco in the coco. Mmm... cocoa... That's fine, I guess. It had to happen some day. Is this a punishment for something? I try to be nice.' I stared blankly at the wall. 'The nicest, most beautiful woman in the world is using your bathtub, buddy. It's not a punishment, but it's not a reward. You don't really deserve a reward, either. There has to be an explanation for this. Stupid... laws of time and space.' I calmed myself down, and took a deep breath. 'Ah, whatever.'

I waited for a while, not really doing anything. About thirty or so minutes later, she walked back out, wearing the robe, with a towel on her head. She changed into normal clothing after a few minutes.

"Just toss your old stuff downstairs." I said to her, "Washing machine's down there, and laundry day's coming up."

"Alright."

'Washing... that reminds me...'

I got up to wash the dishes before I forgot again. I got it done pretty quickly, but honestly, I just wanted to waste time. I started doing some more house work now that I was in the mood for it. I took the day off, but I'm still working.

She was watching me as I worked, typically standing near the doorway or otherwise out of the way.

The rest of the day passed without anything else happening. I stubbed my toe, but I always stub my toes.

"Hey Celestia, tomorrow I gotta get back to work."

"What about me?"

"You'll be fine here, won't you?"

"Of course I'll be fine, I was just asking if you had a plan for me."

"Not really. You can always use my laptop if you get bored. I'm sure you'll get bored here."

"Actually, it's more exciting than Equestria usually is."

"Alright. Hey, if you want, I can sleep on the couch. You can take my bed."

"That's very kind of you. Thank you."

"Yeah."

She was happy, so I was happy.

'Yeah... I'm crazy.'

***Again, not as good as the first. That's fine, though. This story was started as a test of my abilities, and I actually didn't pay attention to the story while I was writing it. **


	3. Chapter 3, I guess

***First and foremost, I'd like to apologize for the time it took to get this chapter written. There is a reason, and unfortunately, it isn't a very heartwarming reason. I'll discuss that later.**

**Lets get this show on the road, shall we?**

So life went on. What could I do? Days started passing. Slowly, but passing nonetheless. The woman was still here, and showed no signs of leaving.

As far as I could tell, she liked it here. Sometimes she complained, but it wasn't about Equestria, it was about stuff like the temperature or my boring house.

She didn't do much, either. Not that there was anything to do anyways. When I left for work, she was on the computer, at least when she wasn't asleep. When I came home, she was still on it, usually researching this world.

And she ate all my snacks! I wanted to eat those! She's been here for three days and managed to clear out all of my sweets. Gonna have to start hiding them.

Another interesting little tidbit, 'handle with care' does not mean 'throw in washer and forget about it.' Some of Celestia's stuff had that on the tags. Managed to avoid making that mistake. Kinda glad I caught it, though. Of course, that also meant that I was directly handling her underwear, which was very awkward for me.

A knock on the door surprised me. It opened without waiting for a response.

"Hey Phil, what's up?"

He walked passed Celestia without even noticing her and went directly for the fridge.

"Hey, did I leave my dew here?" he asked me.

"There's one in the back. That yours?"

"Yep."

He pulled it out and drank some, then turned to sit on the couch.

As soon as he saw her, he almost spit out his drink. He coughed a few times. "Holy crap! Phil, did you know that someone was here?"

"Nope. Guess who it is."

He stared at her for a little bit, then said, "A hallucination?"

"That's Princess Celestia."

"Huh? How much did you pay for her?"

"Seriously dude, that's her. The real deal. From the show."

"From the show... Repeat that back to me."

"I'm not kidding. That's the Princess."

He looked at her. "That's a grade-A prostitute right there, bro."

"Are you implying that I would pay for something?"

"Yeah, I guess. Phil, what is she doing here?"

"I dunno. I found her in the Wal-mart parking lot."

"So you brought her here?" He looked back to me, then to her, then me again. "Your initial reaction after finding some random chick who says she's Princess Celestia is to bring her to your house. Nice."

"It ain't like that."

"Well, I'm sure only a mental case would come here."

She smiled, then said, "I like your friend."

"That's a pretty good impression of her."

"My name is Celestia. And you?"

"Tristan. Are you being serious right now?"

"Of course. I'm always serious."

"Well, you don't really have to believe us, I guess."

"No, I believe you."

"Really?"

"Dude, there is a woman in your house. Not just that, but a freaking supermodel that's sitting on your couch! What am I supposed to believe? You don't have this kind of game, man."

"Got more than you."

He laughed at me. "You've got as much game as a dead possum."

"Well at least my dick's not the size of a possum's."

He laughed again. "I'll admit, that was pretty good."

"Your penis is as small as a possum's?" asked Celestia.

"What? No!"

"Yeah, it's more like a rat." I said.

"Shut up, Phil!"

"I think I'd like to see that."

"Well..." He shrugged. "Hear that? It's called game."

"It's not game if she laughs at it."

"Shut the hell up!"

She lounged back against the couch. "Well, it's nice to meet you too, Tristan."

"How... did you get here?"

"I don't know. I just arrived here. Do you know about Equestria as well? Phil said that some of his friends would know me."

"Yeah, I know about it. I guess you're lucky Phil got to you before the police picked you up. You'd probably get locked up somewhere."

"Yeah, we do live in America, after all."

"Murrica."

"Muh freedoms."

She just smiled at us and waited for an explanation.

"It's not important."

"This is unreal." He took a sip of his soda as he stared at her.

"So what's up?" I asked him.

"We're just gonna pretend that this is normal?" he asked, ignoring my question, "Because it's not."

"Pretty much. Not really much else we can do."

"Am I dreaming, or what?"

"I could pinch ya."

"That's not necessary. So, do you know anything about this place?"

"Not a lot. Just what my student told me. And what I've learned from Phil's laptop."

"You let her use the internet?" he asked me.

"Laptop's got strict settings on."

"Good enough, I guess. You seem to be taking this incredibly well."

"It's better than it may seem. If I'm going to stay here, then I may as well make the best of it, and I've rather been enjoying myself. It's so easy here compared to Equestria."

"So... you're staying here? With him?"

"Is this a problem?"

"I... no, but... This is weird."

"Yeah."

"Does anyone else know about her, or what?"

"Nah. Maybe the neighbors, but they're weird."

Celestia looked at Tristan. "Are all of your friends like this one?"

"Most of them. So what's up, bud?"

"Well... nothing much... I guess."

"Alright, cool."

I sat in my chair, and he sat next to Celestia. I leaned forward on my knees. "I tried out a new pair of headphones recently."

"Oh really? Any good?"

"They sounded great, but they're not as good as mine."

"There you go again, bragging about your freakin' headphones."

"Well, they're awesome!"

"I know that! You just say it all the time."

"Yeah... You want the new pair?"

"What? Seriously?"

"Yeah. They're on my bed."

He smiled and went to get them, and quickly came back. "These things look great. Thanks, man."

"Yep. Happy birthday!"

"My birthday was almost half a year ago."

"I forgot your present."

"You gave me some money, didn't you? Yeah, cause you told me not to blow it all on booze."

"Did you blow it all on booze?"

"I blew it all on booze."

"Alrighty then. Catch!" I tossed him my phone. He reached out, and it bounced off his hand. He scrambled for it as it fell, but missed, and it hit the floor. "Good job, mate."

"Dude, stop throwing your phone."

"I still got a warranty."

"Oh." He picked it up and examined it for damage, then tried out the headphones. He jumped as it started at a very high volume, and quickly turned it down. "Jesus, warn me next time."

"Sorry."

I could hear a dubstep song playing from the headphones. After a little bit, he said,"Yeah, these are pretty good." He took them off and gave me my phone back. "Nice."

"Yep."

He slipped the cord into his pocket and wore them around his neck as he sat back down.

Celestia closed the laptop and gave it to Tristan, then stood up and stretched a little. She went to the kitchen and got herself something to eat.

"Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"What the fuck is going on?"

"I don't know. It's like... the walls should be melting, but they aren't. Are they?"

"Not... yet."

Celestia stood in the doorway, looking at us while lazily chewing on a sandwich. Even I knew that she was bored. What would the Princess of Equestria even like to do here? She's suddenly been relieved of all of her responsibilities as Princess.

'Did they even show what she does for fun? I know she eats a lot of snacks, but that's not good for... well anyone, at this point. Maybe there's more in the comics. Should get around to downloading those. I got The Fall, why not My Little Pony? Oh yeah, I still have The Fall. Should show that to... Wait, none of my friends are into Assassin's Creed. Oh well.'

Tristan was staring at her, absolutely confused. She didn't seem to care. Her eyes were only half open like she was tired. Or stoned. One of the two. Do they have drugs in Equestria? I guess it would explain Pinkie Pie in her furry entirety.

"This is boring." she finally said.

"Yeah."

"What do you do all day to keep yourself occupied?"

Tristan opened his mouth to answer, but I shot him a quick glare to keep him quiet.

"Usually I'm at work. Other than that, there's sleeping. I only get like two hours to myself a day. I think. I listen to music a lot."

"You're too young to work that much."

"Well, it's not like I have anything better to do. And now, it's not like I can just leave you alone."

"So if I weren't here, you wouldn't be, either?"

"Pretty much."

"I appreciate that you want to look after me, but I'm over 2000 years old. I don't need a babysitter."

"Eh."

"And other than music, what do you do?"

"Nothing much, really."

"Don't you use your computer a lot? How often do you use it?"

"Whenever I'm at home."

"Oh. Nevermind."

"Is that what's down there?"

"Yeah. That and the washing machine."

"You aren't very exciting, are you?"

"I don't know Celestia, the washing machine is more exciting than you think." I said as a joke.

"Personally, I prefer a dryer, but whatever you're into." She giggled, which made me realize what she meant.

"Wow, you really don't care what you say, do you?"

"It's a relief having this kind of freedom. I'm not expected to be a Princess here. I've been your age before, and I know what I can get away with saying. It's not like it matters, anyways."

"Ah, whatever. Yeah, the only things I have here probably won't interest you."

"I suppose. It's hot in here."

"Really?"

"I like it hot." said Tristan.

"That's because you weigh like 90 pounds." I said to him.

"I don't weigh 90 pounds, you weigh 90 lbs."

"I weigh 90 pounds more than 90 pounds more than 90 pounds."

"You weigh 270 pounds?"

"No, I don't weigh 270 pounds."

"What do you weigh?"

"Like 210."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I'm like 170."

"I got muscles."

"Pfft..."

"I got bigger muscles than you."

"Fair enough."

"I go to the gym."

He let out a sarcastic, "Oh."

We both snickered.

"You had to cancel like eight trips to the gym for this."

"Eight? More like nine. I just go so many times. I don't even do anything, I just show up. Say, 'I'm at the gym!' Call all my friends, let them know I'm at the gym."

"Like, 'Hey Joe, I don't know if we had anything planned today, but I can't do it because I'm going to the gym. I'm actually there right now. Gonna do some labs, crunches...'"

I started cracking up. "Labs."

"You know, abs and lats. Just combine words because you can't spare a single moment because you're at the gym."

"Any moment at the gym should be spent working on my delts and tris and treps..."

"Treps?"

"Yeah."

"What's a trep?"

"Triceps."

"You said tris."

"Worked 'em twice."

He let out a laugh.

"But I don't wanna be redundant. That's one of my tricks. Refer to the same muscle group seven different times by fictional abbreviations. Who even knows? Most of the people I talk to are nerds who don't know anyway."

"You're a nerd."

"Course I am. That's why the company that I keep doesn't know anything. I don't even know anything. I just go in there and start pushing things. People, machines, doesn't matter. It's all there for me to be... jacked. But it hasn't worked yet."

"Are you always like this?" she asked me.

"More or less."

"This is so different from what Twilight told me."

"Yeah, well she went to a high school. We're out of that place. Like a few years out of that place. Five or so. Something around there."

"It'd be seven."

"Alrighty then."

"Did you do well in school?"

"Well enough to pass. What about you?"

"I had an alright time in school, as far as I can remember. It's been quite a while since I've been in any sort of school, though."

"Yeah, yeah... What time is it?" I got out my phone. "Six... Nothing goes on at six."

The other days were full of this. Just sitting around doing nothing. Celestia was probably fine with it, even though she complained a few times. Pretty sure, at least. Wasn't exactly my problem, but I at least wanted her to be comfortable if she was here.

"Alright... I think that's enough excitement for one day." said Tristan, getting up. "Any more and I might explode."

"Taking off?"

"Yeah. Well Princess, I hope you get back home safe and sound. See ya later."

"Goodbye, Tristan."

He took off, leaving the two of us alone.

"Usually, people don't stay here long." I said to her, "When they do, they're usually downstairs."

"What exactly is the point of having another one of these computers?"

"Well, the one I have downstairs is quite a lot more powerful than that one. It can accomplish a lot more than that small computer. I built it myself. I ended up botching it and handed it off to a repairman, but it was a lot cheaper than if I would've bought the whole thing, even though still I payed a pretty penny for it."

"I don't understand."

"Well, it doesn't really matter."

"I suppose not." She looked at the laptop on the coffee table in front of her. "When my student came here, she was able to return within the same three day span she had arrived in. My three days have passed, so I must wait another month before even trying, but... exactly three days since I arrived, last night, something has been off to me."

"Off how?"

"My magical powers have been removed, but it's as if my body still thinks it's utilizing magic. It can't do that... can it?"

"If you really want me to examine your body, I can."

"I'm being serious."

"Sorry, Princess."

"I think I can feel it. I know it's here, Phil. I know I can get back."

"And... why haven't you mentioned this before?"

"It just started last night. At least, that's when I assume it did."

"Well, if that's all true, then it looks like you're stuck here for a month. And even then, if we can't find the mirror, we'll have to wait another month."

"And you'll let me stay every day, won't you?"

"Well, yeah."

"I must be such a bother to you."

"Not really. Anyways, if you think that there's a way, I can show you around town so we can look for it. We have time, but I'm still not sure about it."

"That would be nice. I don't know much about this town."

"Then it's settled."

She gave me a warm smile.

It was pretty dark out already. I decided to call it a day after a few minutes. I wasn't very tired, just bored. That's how it is here. It's tolerable, but I would like a little more.

***Thank you all for your support so far.**

**I feel like the Fanfiction version of this story's not getting any love. Oh well.**

**Unfortunately, I'm pretty much out of ideas. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, this was to test myself. Apparently, test successful. I know that I am capable of front page material at my best, and that gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. **

**I have a general direction of where I want the story to go, but I'm not good with day to day life. I'm a boring person.**

**If you wanna offer an idea, go ahead and pm me or something. I don't know. I don't really care at this point.**

**As for a schedule, I can not, and will not promise anything.**

**And now for the reason why the story was late. It's not something I want to say, but I feel you should know. **

* * *

*****Skip this part if you don't like sad things*****

* * *

**On December 26, my mother passed away. The 26th was the official report, but it will always be on Christmas to me. That kinda threw a monkey wrench into my life. And by that, of course I mean that it was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. **

**Merry Christmas, yeah? Merry fucking Christmas.**

**So that's the reason. I'm just gonna stop writing here. See you in the next chapter**


	4. Day on the town

When I got back home the next day, Celestia was waiting for me. I don't know why, but I got the feeling that she already knew it was pointless to do this. She was pretty excited, like a dog about to go for a ride in a car. Close. A human about to go for a ride in the car. A pony. Celestia go for a ride in the car? Ride in the car? Huh? Do ya, girl?

She was being patient, but even I could tell that she didn't want to wait much longer. Every so often, a small frown showed up on her face, but was quickly replaced with a smile whenever she noticed me looking.

"I'm gonna bring some snacks. You didn't eat them all again, did you?"

"Was I not supposed to?"

"Aw, really?" I opened the cupboard. Still there. "You tricky little..."

She giggled.

"If we get hungry, maybe we could have like, a picnic or something."

"A picnic? That sounds like a wonderful idea!"

"Glad you think so."

"Oh, It's been so long since I've had an actual picnic." she said with a fondness in her voice.

"Oh really?"

"Well, usually I'd just have one with my sister, which wouldn't be so bad if the guards weren't present. Don't tell any of them I said this, but sometimes they can get annoying. They're very obtrusive!"

"I don't think you'll have to worry about me telling them anything."

She chuckled. "I suppose. Are there any places with a good view here?"

"Yeah, there's a few. You're really happy today. I like it."

"I'm just excited. I feel so free. No guards, no little ponies to look up to me, my speech isn't limited to formalities, nopony expecting me to to the right thing every minute of my life."

"Well, I still expect you to do the right thing, Celestia. You can't really avoid that."

She laid back. "If I made a mistake in Equestria, a whole nation may be effected. Here, if I made a mistake, nobody would be there to judge me. It's more stressful than you may think."

"But..." I said to her, wanting her to continue.

"But... I love it. I loved my life as Princess. Seeing the smiling faces of my subjects as the sun rose day after day..." She sighed, then changed the subject. "I've seen very little of this world so far. Your neighborhood doesn't seem very exciting to me."

"It isn't, really. And this is just gonna be one town. There's thousands of towns and cities out there. You know, there are more than 7 billion people on this planet."

"7... 7 billion?! Wow... I can't even imagine 7 billion humans. It's just unfathomable."

"Oh yeah."

"This world is so amazing. There's so much to learn."

"Yeah, we are pretty cool. Anyways, I'm get some stuff ready. We'll take off at 5, alright?"

"Twenty minutes. That's fine to me."

I grabbed a lunch and some other basic stuff. Technically it'd be dinner at this point, but whatever. My calendar caught my attention as I rummaged through the kitchen. Almost September. It's gonna start getting cold.

Still warm now, though. Screw Wisconsin, man. One day it's like 90, the next it's like 40. It just goes down here. We don't get the luxury of up. Numb fingers make it hard to write. Experiment tested and proven.

I loaded the things up in my trunk, and she joined me.

"So how big is this town? You didn't give me a name, so I couldn't look it up."

"I think it's pretty average... For us at least. There's about... 40000 people living here."

"That's... amazing."

"Actually, I think the sign said 37000 or something like that."

"Like it matters! Just this town has almost equaled the population of Canterlot! And you said it was average? What exactly is considered large?"

'Bend over, I'll show ya.' "There's one city that has like eight million people."

"Wha... How is that possible?!"

"I... don't really know, but... it happened. Our whole country has like 300 million. But it's like... A really big country. And... uh... nevermind. This place is pretty ok, though."

"Just ok?"

"Well, I don't go out much. I don't really know much about it."

"I'll keep that in mind. This is... so amazing..."

"Just wait, it'll get even better. You ready?"

"As I'll ever be." She got in the car.

"Alright..." I joined her and started it. "I got a little list of some places l think might be of interest. Since Twilight arrived at a high school, we can start at my old high school."

"Is it far?"

"Not really." We took off. "There's actually another high school here, but I actually don't know where it is. Unless... That one place..."

"Sorry?"

"Oh right, you weren't... Anyways, a few years ago, I went to this sport thing on the other side of town. My buddy was playing football."

"Tristan?"

"No, one of my other friends. You might meet him. He's pretty cool, too. I think that place may have been a school, too."

As I said, my old school was pretty close. I parked in the somewhat empty parking lot. The cars that were here are probably for teachers and other staff.

"School hasn't started yet. About a week or so, and it will." I said to her.

"Is everything here big?" she asked me, looking up at the top.

"That's how humans work, I guess. This place has four floors, counting the basement. Over there's the gym." I pointed to the end of the building. "We have two swimming pools, an outdoor jogging track, and a football field. There's a few tennis courts further down, past the bridge. Don't know if the school owns them, though."

"How many students attend this school?"

"About... 1400. I think."

"1400 students..."

"To our left, that whole block is owned by the school. Just a big, grassy field. So the whole thing takes up about 4 city blocks. C'mon, lets get closer."

I started walking towards the school, and she joined me.

"So how long did you attend this school?"

"Four years. I think my favorite year was my third, when I was in eleventh grade. I had AP chem, and the class was awesome. Don't remember learning anything important, but we talked a lot about nothing in particular. I've never laughed more in a class."

"You didn't pass, did you?"

"Well... technically... I did pass, but... We all passed. All eight of us. The work was insane. To me, at least. Everyone else... seemed to be fine. The only reason I passed was because my teacher was a nice guy. One of my old classmates was taking three AP classes at once, and to top it all off, he was on... uh... some sort of sports team. Tennis, maybe... No, not tennis... Whatever, who cares? It's been 7 years."

"That's impressive."

"Could you do all that?"

"I wouldn't enjoy it, but I'm sure I could."

"Yeah, he was really smart."

"And you're not?"

"I'm... ok. I got out of this place a year and a half before I was supposed to. Skipped first grade and graduated early."

"That's... something. Does that happen often?"

"I dunno. Prolly not."

We stopped at the street, looking at the mostly empty building.

"It's weird seeing it like this with no people around." I said, "Never thought I'd have to come back."

"I don't feel anything here."

"So, this isn't the place?"

"No. There's nothing magical here. Lets try the other high school."

"Alright."

She waited until I turned away from the school before walking back to the car. I remembered exactly where the place was, but was still a little conflicted on whether or not it was a high school.

After a long-ish drive, in a town, at least, I pulled into the parking lot. Turns out, it really was a school.

"Anything here?" I asked.

"I don't think so."

"Hmm... Oh well. I think... the next stop... should be... The Wal-Mart area where I found you."

"Alright."

"After that, we'll head over to the police station area, then we can explore the downtown area. Those last two are pretty close together, though. Uh... yeah."

"Was there... any particular reason you chose these places?"

"Well, they're kinda situated in a broad circle around the town. And my old school was about in the middle. That way, we can get a general area where we should look. And, you might wanna head to these places again, so you should get to know where they are."

"I suppose. I don't imagine I'll be doing much wandering around on my own, though."

"Yeah, I guess. Still, it might be useful. Maybe."

I took a slightly different route to get back to Wal-Mart to show her where the hospital was. It wasn't very far from the school, but unfortunately, it was on the other side of town from my house. A solid five mile drive. Never really had an issue with it before, but I still didn't like it.

At each of our destinations, she never said anything in the positive. She couldn't feel anything different, no matter where we went.

"It's just as well." she stated, a hint of sorrow in her voice, "I didn't expect us to be successful anyways."

"Yeah."

We were in the downtown area. Basically, it was like an outdoor mall you could park in. Stores were lining the streets for quite a while, then they just stop a ways down. Not just stores, though. Tax places, a few banks, some restaurants... and other... stuff. Lotta random stores here...

It actually wasn't like that at all, but if it helps...

Don't look at me like that, it's not like I just go around randomly and mark down places of interest. I don't live in some exciting wonderland of magic and sparkles. The amount of drugs required for entry is beyond my price range.

Lying about all of this would make my life easier, but I am simply unable do that.

Celestia let out a sigh, and went to sit on a nearby bench.

"You miss Equestria?" I asked, joining her.

"It hasn't even been a week yet. I've never been... I've never been trapped like this. But... It's... It's great here."

"Really?"

She smiled. "It's so amazing in this world. I'm awed by it." She looked at someone walking by us, who returned a smile.

I looked to the sky. "Sometimes I forget how awesome humans are. So..." I looked back to her. "What do you wanna do now?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm hungry. You said that we could have a picnic."

"Oh yeah, forgot about that."

"It's nearing nighttime." she said with a bored tone. It was almost eight.

"Yeah. Lets get some more pizza or something. Sound good?"

"Alright. I rather enjoyed it cold."

"Same here."

We walked back to my car, which I left on the next block over. I called in a large pie with nothing good on it before I got in the car. They said it'd be ready before I got there.

"Hey, they sell meat there." I said to her.

"We aren't getting any, are we?"

"Well, no. I just wanted you to know that. I never get anything other than plain cheese anyways. I don't like the taste. Besides, it's pricier."

"Alright. That's fine."

I drove there, picked up the delicious grease disk I ordered, and we took off again.

"You still wanna try a picnic?"

"Of course."

"Alright then."

There weren't any lonely-tree-on-a-hilltop kind of places in this town, as far as I knew, so I just brought her to one of the grassy parks. It had a playground on the other side, and was located near the college.

"This alright with you?" I asked, parking nearby.

"It's perfect." She got out of the car.

This place was somewhat out of the way, and there was never a lot of people around. She stared over the field.

"You know, I have never been here before."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. I pass by it every once in a while, but I've never stopped here."

"We can get a good view of the sunset from here."

"Sweet."

She sat down on the grass, looking at the horizon. I grabbed a piece and joined her.

"Was this a date?" she asked me.

"Uh... Y-yeah. Yeah it was. Not gonna lie Celestia, you're pretty much the sexiest woman around this place."

"Well, lucky you, then." she said, reaching for the box. She took a bite. "This is... absolutely delicious." She was talking with a full mouth. "So, is that how it works here? Take a girl around town and she sleeps with you?"

"Princess!"

"What, it's a legitimate question."

"Well, it's a stupid question. Of course that's not how it works."

"So how does it work?"

"Why the hell are you asking me this?!"

She laughed at me. "Because it's funny! Your reactions are priceless! You should see how red your face is right now."

"C'mon, don't do that."

"You're the one who's taking me on a date."

"Who cares what it's called?"

"Then why did you say it was?"

"Well Celestia, maybe we can do some math here. You are a very beautiful woman, and I'm a man. Now, with what you know already, what exactly do you think I want to do right now?"

"Oh... well then... I hope you didn't plan on doing that anytime soon." She let out a laugh. "But you know, that doesn't necessarily mean a rejection."

"Uh..."

"In fact, I suppose that makes things a little simpler. I'm glad you've at least made it clear to me from the start. I'm an object of beauty in Equestria, as well, and as such, I'm no stranger to advances of this nature. Although, it's a lot less common, and a lot harder for a pony to even get to me in the first place considering my position. You, on the other hand..." She turned away, then leaned her back against my shoulder. "You're my roommate."

"Should we just go home? This just got really awkward for me."

"Awkwardness makes things interesting. Don't you think?"

"I... I'm gonna shut up, now." My embarrassment was palpable.

"You're so easy to bother."

She got another piece. I wasn't hungry anymore. Soon enough, she had devoured the rest of it.

"Geez, you get enough?"

"I can ask you the same thing. You barely ate any." She laid her head on my leg, and looked up at me. "You know I didn't mean any of that, right? I was just kidding around."

I shrugged.

"I don't really want anything to be awkward between us. You told me your deal, so here's mine. I just want to get home. That's it. You were just nice enough to help me."

"That's not the reason, Celestia. I mean, it'd be nice, of course, but that's not me. That's not how I work. I get attached to nice people really easily. In that show I talked about, you're always nice, so from the beginning, I felt some attachment to you."

She smiled. "So you're one of those people, huh?"

"What?"

"Nevermind. No hard feelings?"

"No hard feelings."

She turned her body to look at the sunset, then sighed. "Amazing..."

I weighed my options, and for some reason, thought it was a good idea to stroke her hair. She snuggled against me. When she got up, we would leave. So I waited.

Even after all these years, the sunset was still great. The top of the sun dipped under the horizon, but Celestia didn't move.

'Wait... Is she...' I poked her. 'She's sleeping. Why is... she sleeping?' I poked her again. 'You gotta be kidding me.'

I let out a sigh, and decided to do something that I've only seen in movies. I gently got out from under her. After tossing the pizza box in a trash can and opening the door, I picked her up and carried her to the car.

'This is weird. Really, really weird.'

She never opened her eyes. I buckled her in, and took off for home.

On my way there, I noticed something odd. A pair of headlights were getting a little close. I started getting a strange feeling in my gut. Usually in this situation, I would contemplate whether or not I should slam on my brakes and get me some insurance money. This time was different. I didn't trust this car.

I intentionally took a wrong turn, and it turned with me. Four turns later, I got the feeling that they were following me.

I got an idea. I pulled into some random driveway, and turned my car off. They drove past, and turned on the nearest corner.

I quickly turned it back on, and drove the other direction. The only thought on my mind was that I just got that poor house robbed.

Of course, snaking through town in itself isn't a reason to be suspicious. I just had a really bad feeling about that car.

I set her on my bed, just like normal. Well, normal in this situation.

"That was kinda weird. Has there been a lot of robberies around here lately? Can't really... remember." There wasn't a lot of crime here anyways. It was a pretty safe town.

I had a police scanner that my brother gave to me, but at this point, didn't care enough to see what was going on. It wasn't really my problem.

Before I went to sleep today, I glanced outside from between the curtains.

***Alright, that was chapter 4. Yeah, some of the jokes weren't completely necessary. I'll get to that eventually. One of these days I'll get it right the first time. Just not today.**

**I was thinking, maybe I could make one of those Tumblr things for my stories. You know, where people could ask questions and I could tell people the status of chapters and such. Would that be a good idea? Like, would you guys want that? 'Cause I'd do it if you wanted me to. Hell, I already did it. Now to figure out how to use the damn site. You can't post links here, so it'd be omegadracomancer . tumblr . com  
**

**I haven't seen a single episode of season 4 yet. I don't know why that is. I want to, but at the same time, I don't want to. I don't like feeling like that.**

**And I don't know why, but I don't like reading stories. Even my own work. Weird, huh?**

**I noticed that some of these things would fit in better with Luna's personality than Celestia. I guess it isn't really much of a problem, but literally the first sentence I wrote would've fallen into that category. I gotta break that habit.**

**Forgot to mention it last time, but I passed my drivers test. Yay! Finally got my license! Half a year late on account of a broken foot midway through, but it's better than not having it at all. **

**Had some weird class shit going on at the start of my new semester. Apparently, my first class isn't in the building. Screw that. I am so glad I just graduated. Aw yeah.**

**Also, just so you know, I have not revised chapter 3 yet. Or chapter 4 for that matter.**


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